Wednesday, June 22, 2005
at first i thot i shouldnt write this here.... firstly cos i dun wan to upset anyone... secondly, i dun wan her to tink im trying to act as a goody-goody person or im trying to gain sympathy here.. thirdly, i dun wish to recollect wat happen on msn yesterday...
but i cant.
i've read her blog and i feel tt i shld clarify things here. if not, e whole world would tink tt im really such a person as she mention in her blog... i dun mean tt im not at fault in e first place.. but i dun tink its ENTIRELY my fault.. and i defintely dun mean to say tt its her fault either...
okie, firstly, i tink i shld sorry for telling a third person tt night. and i can swear tt both she and i DID NOT spread e words around! i shld have ask ur opinion b4 i tell her, so 4 tt, i apologize SINCERELY...
but seriously, i dun tink tt's call a betrayal... i did not backstab u or do/say anything bad abt u behind ur back. i oni mention u and him to her. TT'S ALL! well, surely, its my fault for telling in e first but i dun tink i did u wrong. im juz telling a concerned person abt ur condition. and she already got a idea of wats gg on in e first place... so she juz clarify with me and i gladly told her e truth. i mean, tt's a gd thing wat.. u noe, dating some1 u luv.. not everybody can do tt u noe.. so i share e gd news with her. tt's all!!! and after tt, i told ya e truth... i told u tt i told her... i could have not tell u, and keep things quiet. let u guess who's spreading e words... but i didnt! i told u frankly... and it all ends up to be a betrayal?
talking abt yesterday conversation.... u may not mean it to be a confrontation but judging from wat u say... u r trying to say tt i betray u, i did u wrong... and u r like finding fault with me!!! i may not sound gd either cos tho u've always told me u r not angry over e matter, u keep mentioning it and keep reminding tt i betray u... betray is a veri strong word u noe... and i can tell u here tt I DID NOT BETRAY U.. AND I DUN TINK I DID ANYTHING WRONG!
and u ask me how would i feel if we switch roles.... i can jolly well tell u tt i wont be angry AT ALL... tho at first i might cos my fren told other pple when i told her not too.. but how abt now? its all over isnt it? u keep saying u r not angry but u keep mentioning it to me... so wat does tt mean? and since u and him are alright now, e more i dun tink im at fault... and i did not publicise abt u and him... i juz write abt wat happen to me during e weekend... this happen to be a online blog where everybody can read.. so tt's call publicise? so we all r PUBLICISING OUR LIFE THEN.... then y bother to write when u dun wan pple to noe? i wan my fren to now wat have i been doing during my weekend, to share my joy and to noe which close fren i've met up with... and tt ends up to be publicising pple private life?
and u said tt i shld ask 4 ur opinion.. so well, then can i ask u to write my blog instead? then u can choose wat u wan to write then.. and if i have to ask pple opinion b4 i can write, i would have to call up yl, yh and deb every week to ask, hey, can i mention u in my blog? as 4 ur tt entry, did u call me to ask if u could write abt me? NO, u didnt..... and im not angry at u 4 tt... i respect ur blog.. i feel tt a person can write anything in his/her blog even if it means scolding other pple... its their freedom.. moreover, i didnt not say anything bad abt u...
and u said u mistrusted me? ok, i ask u.. how many pple noe abt this then? i dun tink its oni me rite? there's qq and other? how could u be so sure tt its me and her who spread e words? HOW COULD U BE SO SURE? im not saying qq spread e things but how could u say its us? i can swear tt i oni tell her and she oni told 1 person... she didnt even told her best fren... and u juz say tt everybody got to noe abt u 2 cos we spread e words?
i can tell u tt every1 noes abt it not bcos we spread.. its bcos it so DAMN OBVIOUS.... ur action, his action all shows u noe...
u say tt i admit my fault with reluctance yesterday.. BUT I CAN TELL U TT NO, IM SINCERE YESTERDAY.... do u need me to kneel down or watsoever? i juz say tt its my fault and u keep saying im not sincere... how can u judge a person sincerity when u dun even c her? i can oni say tt i admit its my fault tt i told her tt day... anything after tt, i dun tink im wrong...
and u remember wat u call me yesterday? FUTURE NTU STUDENT... wat do u mean? did i brag to u or something? did i ever look down on u? did i ever say tt im better than u juz bcos i make it to uni and u didnt? I DID NOT... and u said tt to me...
u r e first person i thot of calling when NTU first call me... u r e person i tink can relate best to me cos we face e same problem... and yet now u say things tt sound so sacastic.... i noe u did help "by bringing me a rainbow when im down" and i really appreciate it..
However, when the sun reappears again, she forgot about the rainbow that once appeared in her sky. quoted from her blog...excuse me? did i ever say tt? did i say i 4got abt u? its u who did... always say u cant make it on our outing day... then ask u meet me oso dun wan... tt sat oni cum 4 ur movie tixs... and u dare say i forget abt u?
remember J1 time when u suddenly decide to change group? am i angry at u? did u not betray me? i can tell u tt im not angry, im juz disappointed.. and i seriously dun tink u betray me.. juz tt maybe u will be happier being with tt group and i accepted it...
u once mention to me tt we r not close fren... actually its u who tink tt way...u r e first person i noe when i step into 03S12 and since then, i always treat u as my close fren... till yesterday... i dunno y u tink tt way... but guess our friendship's gone e time u cross to e other group and its u who choose to ruin it....
and it all ends up to be MY FAULT.... alright if tt's wat u wan, fine... ALL MY FAULT...
a pretty long entry... sorry to cause boredom to irrelevant pple....
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2:35 AM
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